Batman vs A Double Amount of Problems
by Windrises
Summary: Two-Face tries to get a villain to team up with him so he can rob banks before Batman shows up.


Notes: Batman is owned by DC Comics. This story is dedicated to Bill Finger, Bob Kane, and Adam West.

Batman was after Two-Face who was trying to rob a new bank in Gotham. Two-Face had already been packing up the bank's gold for two minutes. He said "Hopefully I can get all of the money before Batman shows up."

Batman ran into the bank and said "You've been a crook for too long Harvey. You're going back to Arkham Asylum. Hopefully the good side of you will come out eventually."

Two-Face replied "That isn't going to happen you bothersome animal."

Batman said "You should give up. I've defeated you several times and you don't have any sidekicks this time."

Two-Face flipped his coin to decide if he should give up. He looked at the coin and said "I'm going to give up this time Batman. The coin landed on your lucky side which is also my disappointed side." Batman dropped off Two-Face back to Arkham Asylum.

While in Two-Face was in his cell he said "The reason my plan didn't work was because I tried to rob a bank by myself. Having a second villain help would help my two gimmick a lot."

After Two-Face escaped from Arkham Asylum he put up advertisements around Gotham about getting a villain to join him. He hoped that several big villains would offer to team up with him, but he didn't that many results for the a couple days.

A guy named Charles was getting desperate. He looked at Two-Face's ad and said "This would be a big chance to change my life. It pays more than any legal job offer I've gotten recently. However it would be a sneaky thing to do. I'm too desperate. I'll need a gimmick."

The next day Charles went to Two-Face's lair wearing a kite themed costume. Two-Face opened the lair's door and asked "What's going on?"

Charles said "I'm here to accept your job offer. My name is Charles, but people are going to call me Kite Man."

Two-Face asked "Your gimmick is a kite?"

Kite Man said "Oh yeah. I used to be called Kite Man when I played with kites with my family. I'm quite sentimental." Two-Face rolled his eyes. Kite Man asked "Can I have the job?"

Two-Face said "I have lots of doubts about you, but I'll have the coin decide. If the coin lands on heads you get the job, but if it lands on tails I'm going to throw you off a tower." Two-Face flipped the coin. It landed on heads. He said "You sadly got the job." Kite Man was so excited about the job that he did a victory dance. Two-Face facepalmed.

The next day Bruce Wayne was trying to relax in his mansion, but he was a little worried. He said "Two-Face broke out of Arkham Asylum around the start of this week. I'm concerned about what he's doing."

Alfred Pennyworth replied "I hope he doesn't try to harm me, because my last name fits his coin theme."

Bruce said "I think he has something bigger planned." Bruce looked outside and saw the Bat Signal. He got on his Batman costume and went to the top of the police station. Batman asked "What's going on?"

Commissioner Gordon said "Two-Face is trying to rob the new bank again. There's a new villain with him."

Batman asked "What does the new villain look like?"

Commissioner Gordon said "Well this might sound immature of me, but he looks corny."

Meanwhile Two-Face and Kite Man started stealing money from Gotham's new bank. Two-Face said "Since I have you to pack up half the money I'll be able to rob the bank about twice as quickly. Hopefully we can pack up all of the money before Batman shows up."

Kite Man asked "Do you think that my kite gimmick is cool?"

Two-Face said "No. It's silly."

Kite Man replied "But kites are cool."

Two-Face said "You do a very poor job of proving that."

Kite Man replied "Well your coin gimmick doesn't make tons of sense. You seem undecided about every important choice."

Two-Face was very upset at Kite Man's insults. Two-Face said "I'm going to beat you up you kite fanboy."

Kite Man replied "Um flip the coin to decide if you're going to beat me up."

Two-Face said "I'm not going to use the coin this time." Two-Face punched Kite Man. He gently fell to the ground. Two-Face tried to finish packing up the bank's money, but Batman showed up.

Batman saw that Kite Man was on the ground and asked "What happened to your sidekick?"

Two-Face said "He mocked my coin gimmick so I beat him up."

Batman replied "You let your ego ruin your crime."

Two-Face said "I'm going to attack you." Two-Face kicked Batman. Batman started fighting Two-Face. After several minutes of fighting Batman stopped Two-Face. Batman put handcuffs on Two-Face.

Kite Man got up and grabbed some of the bags of money that he and Two-Face packed up earlier. He tried to run away, but Batman saw him. Kite Man said "There's like two hundred thousand dollars in these bags. That's going to make me rich enough to make my family moderately proud."

Batman caught up to Kite Man and said "I'm a faster runner than you so you need to give up."

Kite Man replied "I have a different way of getting away." Kite Man put on his getaway kite and started flying away. A plane was flying nearby. Kite Man's kite accidentally got stuck on the plane.

The guy in the plane said "There's a dude with a kite that's hanging on my plane. I better drop this weirdo off." The airplane guy gently went to the ground and dropped off Kite Man.

Batman said "You're a desperate fool. Please give up the antics."

Kite Man replied "I really need the money you bat fanboy." Kite Man tried running away with the money bags, but Batman quickly caught up to him and defeated him.

Batman said "After I take the money back to bank you're going to be in Arkham Asylum."

Kite Man sighed and replied "I wanted to make my family proud. I've always been a broke and desperate fool."

A few days later Alfred said "I heard that you donated thousands of dollars to Kite Man's family Bruce."

Bruce replied "They're going to get a new house. Hopefully that'll inspire Kite Man to stop being a villain. I'm also trying to get a doctor to make Two-Face's face look normal again."

Alfred said "You've gotten a lot more sentimental in recent years."

Bruce replied "For that comment you're getting a pay cut."


End file.
